ROBBIE DEANS yesterday discovered the eccentricity and hilarity that is Australian Rugby.

The New Zealand blow-in who recently became Wallabies coach was among the guests at the most special of rugby lunches in Sydney where Scots College honoured one of its favoured sons - John David Brockhoff.

In the company of such luminaries as Ken Catchpole, John Eales, John Solomon, Ken Rosewall, Matt Burke, Tim Gavin, Simon Poidevin and Dick Tooth, Deans learnt all about the magic of Brock, and how those on this side of the Tasman never really take themselves too seriously.

Deans first enraptured the 500-plus audience. He stressed how proud he was to be the Australian coach, and that his "purpose in life over the next four years or longer is to add to the proud Wallabies history that is already there".

He emphasised that he wanted to return the Wallabies to their instinctive ways. Breaking the shackles was paramount. The big problem was the players were "still trying to understand my jargon".

Deans also successfully answered the short quiz when he was asked to sing the second line of Advance Australia Fair, finishing word perfect. And then on came the Brock show.

Alan Jones led the charge with a masterly speech about Brockhoff, providing the colour behind the dry facts and many achievements of the former Wallabies coach and player - the latest being his induction into The Scots College Rugby Hall of Fame.

Jones, another Wallabies leader, first welcomed Deans, saying the Australian rugby community "have great faith in what you can do, and we hope your tenure here is long, rather than short".

Then on to Brock, explaining why a few weeks after his 80th birthday he remains among the game's greatest characters, and so much more than the only person to win the Bledisloe Cup as a player (1949) and a coach (1979).

"The statistics are only part of the Brockhoff story," Jones said. "What they don't highlight is the verbal imagery, the cryptic and almost Delphic utterances of Brock."

Jones recalled when Brock was coaching Sydney University against Randwick at Coogee Oval on Anzac Day. Just before kick-off Brock was in a lather. "This is Anzac Day," Brock told the team, "we are playing Randwick, the outright enemy. This is Turkey for us. If it was good enough for the boys at Gallipoli, it's good enough for us, and today fellas … we do battle!" Brock then strode to the door, ripped it off its hinges and slammed it on the floor, bellowing: "Follow me out: over the top!"

University won 18-17. Unbeknown to the Students, Brockhoff had arranged for the door's hinges to be loosened.

There was the time Peter Crittle went to the Australian dressing room before an England Test and heard Brock scream at his players: "You'll run out, you'll line up on the other side of halfway, you'll see those dirty, rotten Pommy bastards, you'll sing Advance Australia Fair, and then you're going to go through them like a madman in a glass factory with a crowbar." Australia won.

There's the note Brock handed Mark Loane before his first Test: "Mark. Today I want you to run like a train without a station."

And Nick Farr-Jones's mock surprise when at his first team talk Brock explained it all so simply: "Breakaways … cause havoc like sharks in a school of mullet. As for the tight five, when you're through the other side, we're like a crowbar through the Opera House window. We get it, we loot the joint, and we get out."

Or when Brock met the Queen at Buckingham Palace during the 1975-76 Wallabies tour. It was November 13, two days after Governor General John Kerr had sacked Prime Minister Gough Whitlam. Jones said Brockhoff introduced himself to the Queen with the words: "I met you Ma'am in 1953. You were wearing a big hat in Martin Place."

"Brock was in full cry. To Her Majesty, he said: 'Ma'am. When the Governor General sacked Gough Whitlam, I understand he rang you in the middle of the night. Do you know what the Governor General said to you?'

"Her Majesty courteously replied: 'Mr Brockhoff, no.'

"To which Brock responded: 'The Governor General said, Whitlam out. Fraser in. And you know what you said then?'

"'No Mr Brockhoff, what did I say?'

"'Don't ring me in the middle of the night with the cricket scores."'

From the floor, Deans led the cheering.