THE French Test team to play the Wallabies are clearly at sixes and sevens. On Monday night, Imanol Harinordoquy was named in the Test team at No.6. R&M snout Rupert Guinness later approached the back-rower, known among the Australian media corp as "Oggy Doggy" and said: "I see you're going to play No.6."
Harinordoquy: "Seven."
RG: "No ... it says here six." (pointing to the official team sheet).
IH: "Six? ... Ah, bon ... Me, I like to play seven."
RG: "How many times have you played six?"
IH: "Never. It is always seven ... It's of no real importance."
RG: "Will it change how you play the game?"
IH: "I don't know. I haven't thought about it ... I will ask the team."
The next morning, Rupe the Scoop asked French media liaison officer Lionel Rossigneux if Harinordoquy was playing at No.6. "Non," came the reply. He was playing No.7. Harinordoquy saw him "last night" (obviously after the Herald interview) and they switched the numbers around. Rossigneux added that Harinordoquy would still play at No.6 - or to be precise, he said "on the left side".
You got all that! To add to the confusion, the Test program editors asked for profiles of all the French players. It was duly delivered. One problem - they were all in French. Adding to the dilemma was that the Test program editor was kicked out of French lessons in year eight by a certain Monsieur Gerard because of his incompetence in comprehending that language.
At least the visitors will have support in the crowd, with 40 members of the French Navy, all decked out in their gear, attending the Test.
Dunning's dark side
Wallabies prop Matt Dunning might be out of the Test, but still reveals a few secrets in tomorrow night's match program, including that his first autograph was "from Astro Boy, or someone dressed up as him ... I was a big Astro Boy fan". Dunning is "a non-drinker (just kidding)", and once stumped Phil Waugh down the leg side off the opening bowler in the AW Green Shield competition.
Bouncer plays off a golf handicap of seven, and his first injury was at a ski school. "I went off the ski jump once and landed on my head, went off a second time and landed on my head and when I went off the third time I landed on my head and was knocked out. There was no long-term damage, nothing they could find anyway." Not surprisingly, Eddie Jones gave him the best spray from a coach.
"They were the loudest and the funniest and the most venomous I have ever heard," Dunning said. "He could really give it to you."
Ambro's a tough hombre
Some men you can't kill with an axe, such as Old Bar Clams' jovial hooker Teia Ambrosoli. Starting a new position at Coles in Taree, Ambrosoli was reluctant to inform his boss of a severe stomach pain and ask for time off, fearing dismissal. Eventually, he jumped on his motor bike to visit the family doctor at Nabiac. Teia's medico wanted to call an ambulance urgently. Instead Teia rode to Krambach to see his parents. He then made his way to Taree's Manning Base Hospital, a round trip of almost 100 kilometres, to be operated on for a ruptured appendix and possible fatal septicaemia. Teia was told he would be out of action for two months. A fortnight later, he was back in the Clams scrum.
Green and golden
The Wallabies' new video analyst, Andrew Sullivan, who came across from the Crusaders with Robbie Deans, went back to the Shaky Isles last weekend and attended a function at his footy club, Ohoka. Two jerseys were up for auction. A signed All Blacks jersey went for $2100. A signed Wallabies jersey went for $2900. Riiiigght.
Brock waxes colourful
OK, just one more Brock item. In his Scots College appreciation speech a few days ago, the great David Brockhoff gave his thoughts on the new Wallabies coach. "I've been looking at the drills, so supportive, so enthusiastic. Get there first, because it is so great to have one from the Shaky Isles for some of that real Anzac spirit. The Crusaders farewelled him with love and kisses, and isn't that nice? And now what Robbie is putting in with articulation at the Wallabies is tremendous. Tactical kicking at last. Both-feet skills at last. Soft hands at last. And he's not throwing away our gorgeous love of body height and animal pig grunts. He will lift the skills of the Wallabies, and he won't forget about the twinkletoes." Say no more.
